1. |
Outroduction
02:33
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So you think is a joke
Everything I’ve ever spoke nah
Be prepared to choke as I uncloak the rap game tropes
Soak up the bloaks leave em to float not even a lifeboat
This a game of cutthroats
You think this isn’t serious
You are straight delirious
Givin your support when they distort
Contort reality to a negative accord
Givin them praise when they kill for days
Cover the path through life’s maze in a thick haze
Watch the wrath as the drugs set their life ablaze
Sit back for the bloodbath tellin them to put Money on a pedestal
Using cruel tools
And yet here I am rappin about bout a harmless thing instead
Is the only way to get cred to dump an ounce of lead in his head?
Why you start snore when I’m not puttin bodies on the floor or pushin drugs out the door
Oh I forgot that you can’t rock this song in the car’s dock
Cause jocks will block and chicks won’t flock
If they talkin round the clock like this ain’t real music
What in the world is this real music kick
Why are the only things that matter words and lyrics that you pick
If words are the most important part for you
Then go read book and some poetry too
Music died quick when the lyrics tried to fit
Repeat it 80 times in a row and its a top hit
But when I rap about food I get piss and spit
Add witt and gritt, maybe a skit and you’re a misfit
This song is in the hopes you won’t prolong you’re life's wrongs
Of thinking that the instruments just tag along
Ninety percent of what you hear isn’t done in the clear so you start
To think the singer is revered
No
This is the last of your high class high caste elitist past throwin out the most of the broadcast
No
This is the lesson to listen no decision with recognition to all of the music no if or but condition
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2. |
Billboard Guarantee
03:45
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I'm that rope dealer
I'm that meet you in the street and tie you up dealer
I'm that throw it in the ocean save a drowner healer
I got a million knots and strands make me the wire leader
I'm that hit you with the frays if you a thrill seeker
I got you coming back for more call me money stealer
I got you buying every day you got that yarn fever
I'm the big bad wolf if the wolf sold rope
I be servin to the crowd if my title was the pope
I'm the kraken if his arms were made of yarn
Be eatin up the money like its chili con carne
I make a hundred thousand stacks a day
I got more rope to sell so get out of my way
and if I ever see you steal a single strand without paying me
you gonna wish you that you could untwine with me ok
I never sold a weak rope in my life
so hard you can't cut it with a knife
in fact I guarantee that it survives a nuke
you can never break my rope you can never find a fluke
my strands are world renowned
ask anyone and they give it the crown
I'm the single greatest dealer that was ever alive
I'm about to turn it on I'm about to overdrive
In 1984 I made the world turn and watch
I pulled the greatest stunt ever known to man
Brought four walls together only using my rope
They thought I couldn't do it and they thought I might die
I will never die because I'm made of rope
and I already told you that my rope don't break
One wall on the left and three walls on the right
Put the rope on first wall on the right
pulled it all the way over to the left
now I got two walls on the left
and now I got two walls on the right
I put the rope round the two walls on the right
and I pull them all the way to the two walls on the left
I am a living god
I made a single wall out of a quad
Indestructable
incombustible
Greatest human rope hybrid thats concieable
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3. |
Enormous Stacks
03:06
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I be making 7 50 in an hour
I dont get that hot water for the shower
I cant afford the bread so I bought the flour
Every day I’m driving in the rush hour
I be working every day from 8 to 5
I jump in the Prius when I wanna drive
Blow up pool, I’m gonna take a dive
Business call, I gotta do it live
I'm a role model role model citizen
Every Friday i be coming with that cash flow
But my loans getting really really heavy tho
I will make it cause my children need to eat bro
Last week they be thriving on the beans stores
People always tell me that the only way to get ahead
Is higher education gotta get the smarts up in my head
Go to school, go to work, then it all repeats again
Turn myself from farmer into simple businessman
I spend my time making money on da streets
I drive a 1980’s Honda swervin in the seat
I made a couple hundred thousand then I lost it all
When my car done crashed up into the wall
My insurance didn’t pay any of my bills
And the law man said oh dat kills
Straight broke, outta work, nothing good infront of me
I think I’ll start a business in the black market industry
Eight wives twenty kids the back seat
I be makin modern marriage look obsolete
Payin 20k a week for this child support
It be Lookin pretty dank on my tax report
Last week I mowed my lawn
Racing on my tractor with my neighbor really fun
I take pride in the way that yard looks
I wish I had the same pride in my check books
I’ll never ever sell my soul for a big check
And not because I keep my morals up to spec
I’m just too lazy to do the paperwork
But I’m not afraid for some handiwork
I’ll hammer hammer hammer hammer in this nail
Until I need to buy some more wood and then I bail
I’m just a young man please let me live my life
Please donate more money so I can pay my wife
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4. |
Pour It Out
03:05
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If I see you with the drink of the devil
You better jump in your car and hit the pedal
I’ll drive at you with the speed of lightning
Cause you out here violence inciting
Drinking coffee on the public quad?
That’s a felony and a fraud
Im gonna put you all the way behind bars
You out here making full on drink wars
Im not saying that the cops will arrest you,
Im just saying that your peers will detest you
The simplicity of the situation,
Is you’ll undergo a permanant ego deflation
Coffee is just a crutch for the people that cant handle life
People only drink it before talking to their ex-wife
The only other uses are for purely recreation
But so many people drink like its their only dang vocation
Staying up past your bed time, being online,
On the frontlines, tryina to make a deadline
College kids, drooping eyelids, playing violins
All this coffee making them resort to violence
This coffee addiction isn’t all your fault
We all have a common enemy to assault
Starbucks turns normal people into basic
We must understand this fact before we can erase it
You brainwashing every ounce of greymatter left
And that ain’t very much knowing you aint very deft
Drinkin and drinkin acid straight from the bottle
Destroy your own body? Lets go full throttle
If I had to make a list of every drink
kool aid at the top and coffee at the bot
It doesn’t really matter at all what you think
Ever since you went and didn’t pour it in the sink
Why you gotta do yourself like that, ok
Why you gotta make yourself all fat, ok
Why you gotta make yourself more tired, ok
How you think that this is gonna make you all inspired
How you gonna go and drink dirt from a cup
And think that this is gonna make you all jacked up
How you gonna pour hot water in there
And think that it’ll mix like magic in the air
Now I know that you’re thinking to yourself
If I cant use coffee what to put in my cup
I would recommend cucumber extract
Vitamins and minerals all pure that’s a fact
Another that I drink that I would recommend
Made from the world’s top finest blend
Grape and cherry kool aid in a blender
Mix it all up and that junk is splendour
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5. |
No Mistakes
03:39
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People like to tell you that up and up is down
But now I'm here to tell you its the other way around
See people like to think that physics is a science
results are in and in the end I really do not buy it
The bird they call pigeon I never have seen
They claim it exists but now that is obscene
It lives in New York, or so I've been told
I think that it lives in the city of gold
That city is also called el dorado
I think that it’s somewhere in Colorado
I have not been there so i cannot say
Its a conspiracy if I do say
This song is the truth that you don't like to hear
It made up of facts that young children do fear
So if you think the government has saved you from the truth
Then I'm about to tell you that your mother’s name is Ruth
What is the shape of the world we live on
Is it flat or is it a globe
The truth is that it is a rectangle
Science has come forth to prove this to us
Only higher education will teach you
True facts like this a really hard to find
When I walk outside i see the sky is blue
But only if the sun is out and shining that day
But everybody knows that the sun’s not in the sky
Its up in outer space and the earth goes flying by
Alphabet
Tomatoes are commonly thought to be a vegetable
But everyone knows that's a lie cause they’re a freaking fruit
Do you not have any eyes do you not see the green
All the fruits are green, apples, pears, oranges
Now some of you may think that adding 2 plus 2 is 4
But I'm about to tell you that its really really more
Its those dang school lunches they are messing with you brain
They got you thinking like a psycho they are making you insane
I will never ever be a product of the man
And if you ever see me you can slap with the can
I be in the hall reading books with the full force
I be shouting knowledge all day til I go hoarse
You can never beat me in the game of the pop quiz
I be in brain making brain building that biz biz
I will put you under like a full on eclipse
Then I’ll go down to the shop and eat chips
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6. |
Wack Jack
03:32
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Kangaroos are wack mack, that’s a fact jack,
I think they talkin smack, right before they fight back
Looking like a hack with the front mount sac
I think they all on crack with the way they bounceback
They should get a backpack to carry all their flak
If they keep tauntin I’m turn em into flapjack
Eat em all up even though it hurt my dental plaque
They a piece of trash lets remove them from the almanac
If there was an animal I could light on fire
I’d throw the kangaroo straight up onto the pyre
I’ve never seen a thing more impotent and villainous
Remove it from the earth with clear cut diligence
This trash is a straight up knockoff of a wallaby
A real interesting and exciting thing wannabe
Whats its claim to fame? That its got two legs?
Thats wack so do I and I dont spread it like the plague
I’ll knock it out one two punch in the boxing ring
The kangaroo swing do the damage of a bee sting
And its got tail what da friq is that for
I can do more while I snore by the sea shore
And now the bois got a pouch on his front
Carrying his kids like publicity stunts
If you were a dope animal you wouldn’t need kids
I am immortal and to you I say good riddance
You ever watch the way that they bounce around,
Looking like a fool, looking like a clown
Some of you may think that it ain't really funny
But to me they just look like a little freaking bunny
Australia isn’t really a bad space
It’s just the pests they all over the place
Jacked up roos looking like they on steroids
Built up muscles from their calves to their deltoids
But what does that really do for them?
They aint got no funds, they aint go no guns, they aint got no bass drum
They aint got no time, they aint got no rhyme,
They don’t see the sign, they just getting fines
While i’m out here spitting lines
All i’m trying to say is they ain't very cool
They don’t go to school, they don’t own a swimming pool
If I want a pocket on the front of my shirt
I just wear a pocket protector, that's what they’re for
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7. |
Clouds
03:10
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Hey man I better not be finding that you meet me on the street
and if you run up I'ma slap with a couple hundred thousand in the lap
nah man you can keep that
I heard last month that you struggled to keep up with your rent
hopefully this holds down to the end of the year
cause if it ain't clear we can't fight in the street that's illegal
Now if you is wanting to go get some drinks from the bar I is down
unless you are under the age that is legal to drink then nah brah
Now when we cross the street
don't forget to wait until the light is green
I can't be seen as a villainous fiend
I need to keep my record clean
We’re all good people in our hearts
We don’t steal from the Walmart
If someone says that we do
We won’t pop a cap in you
Last week my boy Joe didn’t know what to eat so I shot him in the mouth
With a piece bread and then he was fed removed all his dread and then he went to bed
This week my girl nance felt pretty sick, so I shot her in the arm with a needle
Gave her a beagle, told her she’s equal, we’re all gleeful
last month i went to school, it was pretty cool, i didn’t do no drugs, cause I ain't no thug
And that’s fairly lame, it takes away from fame, it throws me off my game
This month I got a call to do jury duty, while watching howdy doody, with my cousin Rudy, drinking something fruity, with a side of smoothie, do I love it absolutely
I made a promise to myself, when i was young, I’d be an upstanding citizen, even if it isn't fun
But then I changed my mind, found out it’s really fine, just gotta drink some wine, and then step in line
woah man, slow it down no need to go so fast
You right fam, lets go get these people some pineapples and watch them eat it
Dude what the friq, don’t you know the nicest fruit to eat is berries, or cherries, whichever one
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8. |
Paris Nights
03:14
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It was 1984 when I first went to Paris
Sitting by myself all alone in a terrace
Sipping on my coffee thinking that I might take a plane
No, wait a sec, hold up I’ll take a freaking train
I roll up to the train station and get my dang ticket to get on the freaking train
The taxicab driver tells me to rush and get my bags out because it might reeking rain
The air was stank, everybody was dank
The train conductor made a promise when he said the train was Thomas
And then he looked at me, and he said with glee
“We got some hot tea, so come along with me”
Then I picked up my bags, they felt like sandbags
Behind me were two men who looked to me like scumbags
Her blonde hair falls aside
I look into those eyes
It’s like a long time memory
Feeling something extrasensory
Building energy
Her smile melts me away
Makes me wanna stay
Its like I’ve known her forever
A rare hidden treasure
She’s the best thing ever
When the train starts and moves away
I felt a sense that everything would change today
Packed from the front to the back with passengers
The dark and musty feeling had made it to the atmosphere
That’s when I saw her in the corner of my eye
Like a single blonde angel feel out the sky
Dropped through the roof of the train like a big weight
Light shining shining through, whoa there goes my heart rate
I thought I’d never get a chance like this again
So I greet her and we really hit it off like friends
Hours and hours go by I can’t really keep the time
I’m hoping that our time together goes on for a long time
Her blonde hair falls aside
I look into those eyes
It’s like a long time memory
Feeling something extrasensory
Building energy
Her smile melts me away
Makes me wanna stay
Its like I’ve known her forever
A rare hidden treasure
She’s the best thing ever
Even if the world comes down today
The best version of doomsday
I’ve never had a better time
You’ve made this little life of mine
Crazy and sublime
I hope we meet again
Someplace far beyond
You really mean the world to me
Opened up my eyes so I could see
All of me
Sike
All the things that I just said were lies
All the way down to the details like the color of the sky
I cannot believe you thought I’d let some rascals ride my train
I control the operation all completely by myself, now
I have never even put a single foot in France
I can never leave America, not a single chance
Let this be the greatest lesson to all those in the youth
Don’t let any music propaganda lead you from the truth
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9. |
Lamb
02:06
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I've been hardest man ever since I was born
I’ve never even eaten, a piece of that sweet corn
I ate piece of candy when my mom told me to stop
And it wasn't on the table it was shelved up on the top
Now that I got your interest let me tell you how it is
I’m going back to the day I got incarcerated
I was walking down the street just staying to myself
Then this cop came up to me told me to watch myself
I said whoa whats your deal why you up in my jam
He said I littered on the ground he said I dropped a piece of lamb
Next thing that I know I was on the ground
Cuffs up on my wrist he was tossin me around
I told him watch out I'ma lawyer up
I’m gonna sue you so hard you’ll have to sell your pup
Next thing that I know I was rolling in the cop car
Little did he know that we were driving by the salad bar
kicking, screaming, yelling out the window
Know I wasn’t guilty I ain't done a sin though
Now we pulling up on the station
Putting me behind bars, incarceration
Once they lock me up I pull out my phone
I call my lawyer tell him throw me a bone
It turns out that the lawyer was inside of the jail
After two minutes got me out of there
They found out that I never had a lamb
Turns out that I’m innocent, I’m a free man
As you can see, I’m the hardest man alive
I done my time though I’ve done no crime
Some of you may think that I aint even that hard
Just wait til I give you my business card
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10. |
Valley of Ghosts
03:21
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I heard about place that offers free pickles every week
When hear about it I break down I get real weak
These boys are generous hosts
This place is called the valley of the ghosts
I always dreamed of the day that I’d eat free
I wanna fill myself with food, that’s the key
And when I finally do I’ll be free
Thinking bout the pickles makes me fall to my knees
Half sour, sweet, and dill
Flavors so tight, flavors so chill
Green, green, green, and green
Range so high it’s just obscene
Pull up on the top of the mountain dome
I get the feeling that I finally have made it home
Stare off at the fog in the distance
This could be the end of my existence
I feel the darkness calling, see my companions hauling
Is this my last breath, is this my sudden death
And then my legs start to coast pulled by undead host
I fall straight into the valley of the ghosts
I'm just a normal guy, i think I’m pretty fly
I was minding my own business when this old man came up to me
He gave me mashed potatoes, and then he said to me
If you want muscles quick you have to eat these with a pea
Man what you think I'm crazy? He said you’re kinda lazy
The only place where you can get a pea is kinda hazy
I take a look at the mountain top and I think to myself
This lazy kinda talk has gotta stop I must repel
Legend has it there’s a place on the earth
Where driving your car is actually worth
The speed of your car isn’t limited by law
You can drive so fast filling people with awe
Ever since I got my Prius I desired that
Put the pedal to floor make it all flat
This journey is the final destination in my life
You can beat I’m headed to the valley all right
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Syrupy Wall Records Coopersburg, Pennsylvania
Syrupy Wall Records is a pseudo record label that puts out all music with Isaac Mosebrook in it. More music can be found at:
www.isaacmosebrook.com
barrelcacti.bandcamp.com
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